20 Laws of life

1. If there’s a wrong way to do a thing, somebody will find it and do it that way.
2. If things appear to be going better, you have overlooked something.
3. When things just can’t possibly get any worse, they will.
4. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
5. If something is confidential, it will be left in the copier machine.
6. A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
7. The hardness of the butter is in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.
8. The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.
9. The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
10. The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.
11. If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.
12. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
13. On a bicycle, no matter which way you wish to go, it’s uphill and against the wind.
14. When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
15. Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
16.The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.
17.No matter the amount of care given to a purchased object, it will fuse/explode/disassemble within three (3) days of warranty expiration.
18.No child throws up in the bathroom.
19.Anything that happens enough times to irritate you will happen at least once more.
20.There are two types of dirt: the dark kind, which is attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is attracted to dark objects.